Dating, Marrying a Moroccan Man
Since I married a Moroccan man, I get tons of questions surrounding dating and possibly marrying a Moroccan man. While I have Moroccan origins, for many, marrying a Moroccan man means an interracial relationship. Growing up in a Moroccan household surrounded by Moroccan men made me really know them and know what most of them look for in a couple and marriage. Of course, every man is different even within a common culture, as upbringing makes a difference, but there are some essential things to know and discuss with your Moroccan boyfriend before saying ”yes”. If you need more help interpreting your Moroccan man’s behavior or navigating a big step in your relationship (meeting his family, traveling to Morocco, marriage, etc.), this advice pack can be helpful for you.
Decisions on Having Children
Family is the heart of Moroccan life. It entails joining the couple’s two families. Marriage is a major milestone in itself and having children is the next step. For most couples, it is a strong desire. However, many want to think about it as it is a life-long commitment. Sincerity and honesty will result in the best decision for all.
But what happens if your Moroccan male partner says he is not interested in having children? He may say, “whatever Allah wants”, which is code for “Let’s see what life offers us”. Childless Moroccan couples abound although it may not be the norm. Most of the time, they stay together especially when they can’t have children for medical reasons, other than that, society’s pressure can be really hard and may break your couple. A man who doesn’t want children is likely to feel pressured by society once he gets married.
Religion of Moroccan Men
A “live and let live” policy when it comes to religion is typical in Morocco. Someone who is devout won’t pressure friends, neighbors, or loved ones if they are respectful of their religion. Marrying outside the religion is not taboo – whether Christian or Jewish – but the spouse expects to be allowed to practice their faith unimpeded.
You should also be able to practice your religion as long as it’s private. For example, during Ramadan, you will be expected to not eat when in public – eating in public is taboo and even punishable by law. So make sure you discuss practicing religion with your companion before marriage.
Many Moroccan men are in their younger years consume alcohol, but as they grow up and start a family, they can switch and get closer to their religion. This usually means forbidding alcohol and pork consumption, even for the spouse.
If you are planning to have children with your Moroccan man, it’s also important to discuss your future children’s religion. Would you encourage them to follow the father or mother religion? What about naming? In Islam, you have to name your children Arabic names. Would that be ok with you? You can also discuss Moroccan names that are also used in western countries, like Maya, Mariam, Leila, Rihanna, and Atlas. Those are common names for children of a Moroccan and non-Moroccan couple.
Economic and Education Status
A broader perspective is gained if your Moroccan man traveled overseas and saw other cultures. The higher the education, the likelier the higher the economic status will be. Both are accompanied by more wisdom and new opportunities. But you should still discuss all the topics I share in this article.
Moroccan Men and Family Loyalty
For most Moroccan men, loyalty is topmost on the list of family responsibilities. Family dynamics, if poorly maintained, may take a toll on a Moroccan marriage. The family unit is everything in this culture, and it extends to the spouse’s new family. Understanding this is key to long-term success and happiness. So expect your spouse’s family to be part of your life. You will probably meet on a weekly basis. The upside to this is that in times of hardship, for example, your couple will have a strong support system. If something happens to your husband, god forbid, you will have the whole family to help you and support you.
Most Moroccan men believe in traditional gender roles, even though the new generations seem to be breaking them slowly. Westerners have their views, of course, and might be inclined to look at traditional roles askance. Moroccan men are proud of their families. While they respect a wife who works to earn income, the money is hers and the man will still be proud to provide for his family.
Marriage and Fraud
Marriage and fraud sometimes go hand in hand when it involves a man who is only interested in joining his spouse’s country. Some Moroccan men are guilty of this. Vows of love are great, but they can blind the unsuspecting foreigner, so take care before saying “yes” and make sure you know as much as possible about your Moroccan man and his family before committing to your relationship.
Nonetheless, not to worry as plenty of great Moroccan men are available, and they are sure to be wonderful husbands and fathers.
In Morocco, even if a woman has a job, her husband will likely expect her to be in charge of most house and children tasks, although he may participate. If the woman works full time, she can hire a nanny and house cleaner but she will be in charge of the cleaning and child care schedule. This being said, many local men care for the children and prepare meals. It is not unheard of to perform daily tasks if the wife works outside the home. This of course depends a lot on couples, but it’s certainly one of the most important things to discuss before getting married to a Moroccan man.
Moroccan Couple AdviceThe vast majority of Moroccan men I know – and I know a lot – have a good relationship with food and enjoy it when being served hearty meals. In other words, there is a high chance that your Moroccan man’s primary love language is being served delicious hearty meals. This probably has to do with Moroccan men’s relationship with their mother. Most Moroccan mothers love to cook for their kids. This is their way of showing love and affection. They truly enjoy and truly enjoy seeing their kids eat at home.
If that’s something you would be interested in exploring and if you enjoy cooking, learning to cook traditional Moroccan dishes might completely change your relationship for the better. You can start with easy recipes, like the Chicken Tagine and Meatballs Tagine. These are easy and delicious and are probably already your man’s favorite. For more resources on this, you can check this tagine cooking guide.
Still need help? Check my couple’s advice pack here.
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